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''Réflexion sur les relations humaines…'' par Acharya Orhun Cercel
with Orhun Cercel
May 16 / 7:30 PM - May 16 / 10:30 PM
Sometimes we engage in relationships from the point of view of escapism: we would like to get away from our boredom and loneliness, and avoid having to experience them. We engage in something in order to get away from something else, which is a subtle form of aggression towards ourselves. It makes us look for a partner with a sense of desperation and fear of our own internal psychology. Of course, this is not a good basis for a successful relationship. Such an attitude is not very magnetising. An alternative approach is to learn to relax and befriend ourselves thoroughly, both the good and also the more difficult aspect of our being. In learning to communicate with ourselves we can begin to extend that capacity to connect to others and the world around us. Our relationships can then have an element of sanity.
When we are willing to look at our experience deeply, we eventually discover that we have an innate natural sense of well being, which is often buried in us. we disconnect from that inner state because of the busy-ness of our lives and minds. By connecting with our experience we are able to re-discover it. Such a discovery puts us in touch with a sense of satisfaction and contentment that does not depend on any external circumstances. We begin to overcome our sense of poverty and are able to engage with the world in a more dignified way.
Through that process we develop, among other things, a more mature understanding of what a relationship is. Like everything in the world, relationships are characterised by change and flux. All kinds of feelings can come about in a relationship: honeymoon experiences, alternating feelings of indifference, hostility, friendship, intimacy. Such change is the way things are, it is natural and there is no one to blame for the fact that there is change, neither our partner, nor ourselves, nor our parents. By seeing this we can develop a more realistic understanding of what a relationship is. Ultimately the success of a relationship does not depend on a permanent honeymoon, there is no such thing, but on the capacity to maintain genuine communication with our own emotions and with our partner as change occurs.