Guidelines for Members

Karuna Talk Guidelines for Members

Many of the discussions on Karuna Talk have focused on how we might best communicate with each other. These conversations have included: 1) the qualities of a caring person; 2) confidentiality and trust; and 3) how and when to offer advice. Following is a summary of these topics. By subscribing and participating in Karuna Talk, members are asked to reflect on and hold to these principles when communicating with each other.

The Qualities of a Caring Person

A caring person is willing:

to experience another person's suffering
to feel and fully acknowledge one’s own pain
to listen without judgment
to be spacious (respect the other person's experience and not rush in to fix the problem or give advice)
to "hold one's seat" - not become overwhelmed by the other person's experience
to be warm, friendly, ordinary and genuinely interested in the other person
to be uncompromisingly honest
to cultivate a sense of humour, playfulness and lack of self-consciousness
to be inconvenienced, slowed down, and to put the other person's interests or priorities first
to ask for help from others
to trust oneself and discriminate between idiot and genuine compassion
to risk making mistakes
to continue to learn to help others

These are the same as the qualities of a friend and are present in our approach to meditation practice, in how we "make friends with ourselves." A caring person is able to care for others because she cares for herself in exactly the same way. Mindfulness awareness practice is caring for our body, speech and mind.

Trust and Confidentiality
At this time, Karuna Talk is accessible to all members of the Shambhala Buddhist community. Given the focus of the group, members of Karuna Talk are often sharing very personal and vulnerable experiences, and opening up in this way requires bravery and generosity. For others to share in these conversations requires respect and appreciation.

We endeavour to create an environment of mutual trust, openness and healing. As practitioners of mindfulness, we agree to avoid gossiping or creating any situation that would result in the stigmatization of another person. It is understood that confidentiality will be respected at all times, and that any messages posted on Karuna Talk will not be shared with non-members.

Offering Advice

When offering advice on Karuna Talk, it is understood that:

it is best that advice only be offered when asked for
those wishing to share advice will contact the person directly, not the entire group
it be left to the discretion of the person receiving the advice to share with the group whatever has been valuable
confidentiality is always maintained unless sources of advice have willingly agreed to be named
as Karuna Talk members, health professionals may offer their suggestions (as stated above), but are asked not to market their services

These guidelines will evolve as Karuna Talk grows and develops. Everyone is encouraged to help foster an environment where healing and spiritual growth can take place. If you have any additional suggestions or revisions, please share them with Karuna Talk.

***