Community Care Working Group

Agenda Item

Discussion

Action Item

Introductions

Welcome to Dennis Southward who has just joined us. Welcome Dennis!

New workgroup members

·     John Barbieri was invited to our workgroup on recommendation of Richard Reoch. He is working on community housing issues in our sangha and has worked with Karme Choling on this topic. John has agreed to participate and will join us on the next call.

·     Amy also invited Tara Slone as a representative from the Vajra Dawn group. She is leading a health and well-being group in Toronto and will join us for the next call.

·     John Seex is our new European representative. He will probably not join conference calls due to the time difference, but will participate by e-mail and maybe have a few separate calls with Amy if he would like to give further input. 

Thoughts & insights from working group members since our last call

The importance of our View

Our conversation began with a suggestion from Jay Stewart about how we as a group might begin to work on such a broad topic. 

She suggested that people may not know what a caring community looks like. It would be helpful to identify characteristics of a caring community or as Alan suggested – characteristics of a caring individual. The characteristics of a caring individual and a caring community would be the same. For example, two characteristics that Jay suggested are kindness and connectedness. 

·     What do communities/individuals who exemplify those characteristics look like?

·     What activities or functions of the community embody those characteristics? 

The group then began to discuss our experiences of care in our sangha. 

Dennis explained that the Druk Sakyong defined the role of the Desung as someone whose role was to care for our own people. He said that based on their experience of the council of health and well-being in Boulder, they have learned that a small group of people with a good intention are not necessarily going to have a big effect on the community unless there is buy-in on the part of the larger community. When we have buy-in, then it works because there is a whole culture behind that. 

He explained that at times Deleks have been strong and have raised awareness in the Boulder community. At those times, Deleks were effective in caring for each other. But with time, things changed and the culture was not developed deeply enough to keep it going. The Kasung have done a lot but the environment in the community did not continue to support the Delek system. 

In Boulder, there have been times when the Kasung have worked to organize the health professionals in the sangha. A few health care workers who wanted to act as resources to the community did so. But it didn’t spread throughout the broader community. The work was left up to a small group of people. 

Based on Dennis’ comments, Jay posed the question, “How then do we effect a culture change?” 

Dennis responded to that question with a statement about the VIEW of what we are trying to do. He said that we must deepen our understanding of caring. For caring to be really effective, it has to be seen as path. We are not caring for “other” but open to the energies that arise on the path - not as different from oneself or as an outer reference point, but with awareness that we are confronting our own dharmas and fixation. If that view was the aspiration of all practitioners in our community, we could build on that. We would have the  energy needed for the projects that need to be done. 

Jay summarized by saying that the idea of caring as a path is the seed of the whole thing. We must make sure that what we provide is what is needed not just what we think is needed. An opening statement is important for our work. 

David reiterated that we need to articulate the sense of where caring comes from and the view of what we are working with. We need to set the basic ground & view in our document so that there is a context and deeper meaning to what we recommend. The big view has to come first. 

In response to the comments about caring as “path”, Alan read a section from the revised minutes from our first conference call. “Alan wondered if we are sometimes limited by the use our Buddhist language. Maybe it is limiting to talk about everything as practice (“the practice of caring” sounds abstract and removed from actually caring for someone).  When dealing with emotionally charged issues, it is easy to hide behind dharmic language rather than talk to each other as ordinary people. “ 

He expressed the need for a little caution in that he hopes that our recommendation will speak to our community in language that even the newest member of our community can understand. He would hate to think the “practice” of caring means practicing all the time and never doing it. 

Amy expressed that this topic feels overwhelming and that on a recent Working group Chairs conference call, it was acknowledged that some working group topics (including ours) are looking at how we change a culture. 

Jane responded to Amy’s comment about overwhelm by saying that in her personal experience with this issue in Boulder is that when someone calls her, she helps them or if she cannot, she finds someone who can. It takes willingness to take a breath and not be so busy. It is a lot, and at the same time, it’s not. It’s ordinary. 

Dennis agreed with Alan that people who are experiencing pain are not so open to platitudes. We are hampered here in that we are invoking something into being that we may have experienced but we have trouble sharing. What we are missing is bringing our practice into the moment. What does it mean to help? When you talk to people about helping others, they say it isn’t their business or they didn’t know they should care. We are right in the western culture, too busy, and unsure about how to do this. 

We as a group can start at the beginning by saying to our community that we have to care. Engaging in caring is the way to energize our practice. 

Jay pointed out that a characteristic of a caring person is that they are willing to stop and help. The other half of this is that there must be willingness on the part of the person in need to call for help from the community. 

Jane said that we have to guide one another in that. We say I want you to hear me and I need you to come and help me. 

Dennis stated that the other aspect we need to understand is idiot compassion. We need to teach people about that. Sometimes we don’t know how to provide care to others and so we throw the whole thing out because we don’t trust ourselves to trust our innate wisdom. We’d rather do nothing than take a chance to make a mistake. 

Jay said that the capacity to listen is important. Think of the people who have helped you and notice how often just listening is the most helpful thing. Probably the most powerful communication tool. We are uncomfortable with being in the space of the person we are listening to. It is hard to hear their pain and stay with it. 

Alan mentioned that David Rome teaches deep listening which is a healing process in and of itself. One of the biggest obstacles to listening is our desire to give advice or fix the problem. 

Dennis said that another aspect of creating a culture is a willingness to be open and make offerings to each other.

Alan shared that he has experienced feelings of self-deficiency and embarrassment that he couldn’t keep up with practice and study because chronic illness flies in the face of chronic ambition. It is easy to see that we hold our heroes to be self sufficient. But quite often people need more than that. He asked if “culture change” means that we would create a culture where ambition is not the heroic way? 

Jay responded that over the years, she has begun to see herself and others to be more human, complex, more nuanced than what she thought it was to be a human being. We are vulnerable and we feel shitty. She is more accepting of that now. One of the things that we can give others is to tell people that it is okay to be human. We are messier and incomplete than the cultural ideal in western society and also more wonderful. This realization is a relief. 

Jay said that usually we only manage to make this kind of culture shift happen when something really bad happens. But can it happen without the crisis? 

Dennis replied that yes, this is the basis of Kasung practice. We engage the phenomenal world that occurs because of a genuine relationship with the teachers and the teachings. It is difficult to take the time to surrender one’s body and mind and be willing to be there, but we can do it because we’ve had an incredible example of the teacher showing us how to do this. 

Jay reiterated that it is central to our practice to care for others. Dennis agreed and said that now is the time. Caring is needed in the world right now. He said that the specificity of the caring comes from that principle that caring is part of our practice. He said that the Karmapa said that the bodhisattva lives on the energy they engage. 

Jane expressed that forming a working committee to work on issues like this may not always be the solution.In our culture, people primarily value and engage in productivity. Many committees and even working groups from the Congress are very well intended, but are too focused on productivity. We feel that if we are really busy, we are getting something done. But allowing space is important because from the space, we learn what we can do to help. 

Jay shared a quote from Stephen Gaskin that said that love is being willing to get off your ass and do something. She shared that Pema Chodron had recommended to her that she could engage in small acts of kindness throughout the day and dedicate them to a friend who recently died. Being willing to try to be kind through small acts during the day is a part of creating a caring community. Especially being kind in specific ways is useful instead of just saying in general “Was I kind today?” 

Jane agreed and said this is what the Sakyong has been teaching us. We could set our aspiration for the day when we wake up and then reflect at the end of the day on whether or not we fulfilled our aspiration. 

Jay said that there is a lack of a cultural knowledge showing people how to treat one another. So sometimes, a person might not even know that when someone moves, you could offer to help them pack or move their things. 

Best practices for a caring community are the same as those that we practice in dharma – engage seriously and see what arises and see what we have to learn from that. 

The issue of financial hardship came up and a short discussion ensued about alternative economic models that use their own form of currency. People wanted to know if our workgroup is in communication with the other workgroups that might be working on topics that impact our topic. In this case, the new economic model might have some input on addressing financial hardship. Amy explained that she is on another committee that consists of the Chairs of all the workgroups and that they are sharing information with one another to make sure we are all aware of what is happening in each group. 

Jane mentioned that it would be interesting to think about setting up bartering systems in our sangha. She also thought now would be a good time to revisit the notion of community housing. John Barbieri will be joining our group next time and he is knowledgeable in this area. 

Jay said she thought it would be important for all of us to ask questions of the larger community about these issues. She has heard of a system where people can exchange work or their services for something they need. This is a good model because everyone has something they can give that isn’t just money. People who are handicapped could give help in return for what they need. Great way for people to give and get both. 

Dennis shared that in Boulder, their community is working with the idea of exchanging comp time.  

David said he would try to remember who was working with similar models in Halifax – maybe related to the Maritime hours. 

Alan pointed out that the characteristics of a caring individual would be the same as the characteristics of a caring community. We should aim to make our document or recommendation inspiring enough to make individuals want to embody these characteristics. Personal responsibility will be very important.

The group agreed that we need a strong statement of “View” at the beginning of our work document.

Amy will e-mail Connie Brock to see if alternative currency model has been explored.

Jay will try to find out information about the place where people help one another by exchanging work for needs

David and Dennis will work on a statement of our view.

Jay and Alan will take a look at a caring community member and their activities.

Amy will serve as a storehouse for resources about functions or activities taking place in caring communities that might help us make recommendations.

Summary of Discussion

It would be helpful to identify characteristics of a caring community or of a caring individual so that we know what a caring community looks like.

We need a good view statement at the beginning of our document/recommendation that explains why we should create a caring community at all. Within that view, it should be clear that It is central to our practice to care for others.

Community Care requires a culture change throughout our communities that is supported by the whole community – not just a small group of people who believe in it.

Characteristics of a Caring community already identified throughout our conversation on this call:

Kindness

Connectedness

Willingness to stop and help / Taking time from our own agendas

Willingness to be open and make offerings to each other

Willingness to call for help from your community and share our pain with others

Awareness of idiot compassion

Willingness to try to help even when it means taking a risk of making a mistake

Trusting in ourselves and in our own innate wisdom.

Capacity to listen to each other

Being willing to feel our own pain

Functions/Activities of a Caring Community:

Engaging with others

Connecting others to resources (Triage function)

Serving as a place to get more information

Dedicate the merit

Schedule next calls

The next call will be held:

Conference call #3 will be held on Tuesday, April 27^th at 8:00 p.m. Atlantic time, 7:00 p.m. Eastern time, 5:00 p.m. Mountain time and 4:00 p.m. Pacific time.